Ode To The Noob

We've all been there, some more recent than others. Everything is rezzing and you've started your first day in this whole new world. You have clue where you are or what you are suppose to do next. If you're lucky, you may just have someone give you a helping hand. If you aren't, you may get some cruel responses to simple questions or even a few "gift" animations that stick your head into the ground. Either way, we were all noobs.

Personally, I thought SL was like The SIMS. No one told me where to go to the bathroom or where I was suppose to get a job. My first assumption was that I needed to eat. After getting clothes and some skin, a shape and all that mumbo-jumbo needed to not get harassed, I trekked out on my own to find food. See, I thought the meter that was on the top right of the screen (the one that showed the measurement of lag) was my food meter. So I panicked when it plummeted. I went to an RP sim and sat at some diner and clicked everything that was food. I sat through the animations of eating but the damn meter still wouldn't go up. I was thinking..."great, day one and I'm gonna die!" Needless to say, I learned I didn't need to eat and have survived not eating ever since.

For others, it is a bit more simple. Wearing the box the clothes came in, wondering where the heck the jeans you just bought are. Trying to figure out how to look at someones profile. Trying to figure out how to message someone. Getting extremely lost in mouselook when trying to shoot guns for the first time...getting shot the fuck up and orbed off of a sim for the first time. Trying to mod hair/clothes for the first time and completely fucking it up. Trying to move a piece of furniture like one inch and flinging it across a sim by mistake, too ashamed to ask for help: GOODBYE COUCH!

The first time you had sex, being told to sit on a ball to do so...WTF? Thinking your free shit is off the chain until you see someone who actually spent money on their clothes...OUCH! Hitting "detach all" by mistake and looking like a bald alien in front of a crowd of people. Wondering why the hell this place is so dark until someone tells you to turn the time to Sunrise. OHHH, So thats what you look like. >.< Trying to fly pass the limit and yet continuing to try like an assclown because you swore you saw someone else fly up farther.

Being really curious if you have an asshole but being too embarrassed to ask. STFU, you know you wondered too! The list goes on and on and on, endless possibilities of how you could be completely oblivious. And then one day, you get to some point where you figure it out. Maybe not everything, but enough. And you forget what it was like to be a noob. And they become bottom of the totem pole in your eyes just as you were to someone else. Some say everyone has to earn their stripes, some say be nice to them.

I say, next time you see a noob, answer their silly question or at least point them in the right direction. AND THEN you can eject them from your land so you can get back to fucking like a monkey.

Now the bitches who have been around for like two years and STILL look like noobs...well, thats just another post now isn't it?