Whatever

• To hospital stays
• To people somehow making everything about themselves, even when you are a couple of hours out of surgery.
• To hospital food
• To not having a cigarette in 3 days
• To nurses who want to watch you urinate
• To people who save their bullshit drama for a moment when you are bed ridden 
• The smell of hospitals
• Maxing out on morphine while in agony at 2am in the morning.
• Getting two shots of pain killers because you have maxed out on the morphine while in agony at 2am in the morning. 
• Being completely doped up but still feeling agony in your chest after getting two shots of pain killers because you have maxed out on the morphine while in agony at 2am in the morning.
• Losing a day of your life but being told everything after the fact because of that fucking morphine...
• Not having any visitors
• Having visitors and realizing you absolutely hate EVERYONE who has come to visit you...(well except for one)
• Did I mention hospital food yet? Because that shit is not fly! At all!

The fact that I have to write this blog and attempt to keep my composure when in all actuality, I want to break the fuck down and break some shit because I'm so angry that I'm in this place, in this situation and living this moment. FTN! To a questionable life. A sad life. A life drowning in turmoil. Can I log out yet? 

FTN! to emo moments like this one...but its candid and real and honest...so whatever. Cant all be fucking comedy for you.