What A Day

Just when I think it's safe to leave the barn...

I go to a club to listen to some music early this morning. A guy IMs me to ask why I'm not dancing. I reply that I'm just people watching. He asks me if I've have spotted anyone interesting. I say, not really. (This would include him.) So he asks where I'm located RL. Nunya, USA. Nunyagoddamnbusiness, USA to be exact. I say, "Is that an RL question?" He laughs and says it's an SL question. Okay, well then...I live on a log. This answer doesn't suit him so he asks about my RL again and I say thats a no go. The convo ends there.

Tip Number 1: If we just met, where the bitch behind the screen is located is none of your concern. We aren't magically going to have something in common because we might be in the same region and we sure as hell ain't never going to meet. What's the point?

I'm still at the same club. A guy in acid washed jeans and a bad lopsided ponytail (the 80's called, thank you very much. Mind as well rock the scrunchy and just throw it all over the edge of ugly.) He walks right up to me, literally...my radar said he was 1m away, and says "So Shasta, would you like to dance?" After holding back the puke I have just formulated in my mouth due to the hideous sight before me, I reply, "No thank you, I'm just people watching." He turns around, walks to the other side of the club and stands there. Needless to say, the convo ended there. 

Tip Number 2: Do not pass the threshold that is my bubble without a notarized letter of approval. Do not wear acid washed jeans. Do not rock the ponytail. And by the way, feel free to wear shoes that don't look like they were painted on your feet. Thats just wrong.

So I'm chillaxing at my house now because the club obviously didn't pan out. Then I get a friendship offer out of the blue. And a very random IM follows.  (Name change to protect the moron. I'm not THAT cruel.)



[5:12]  Shasta Chambers: Have we met?
[5:13]  I'mCreepy Capelo: not yet
[5:13]  I'mCreepy Capelo: would love to
[5:13]  Shasta Chambers: I think you might have me confused with someone else
[5:14]  I'mCreepy Capelo: nope not confused
[5:14]  I'mCreepy Capelo: saw you in a group
[5:14]  I'mCreepy Capelo: and you looked like someone i would love to knw better
[5:14]  Shasta Chambers: why is that?
[5:14]  I'mCreepy Capelo: wat?
[5:15]  Shasta Chambers: what about me makes you think Im someone you would  love to know better?
[5:15]  I'mCreepy Capelo: dont knw
[5:15]  I'mCreepy Capelo: i couldnt stop myself from IM you 
[5:16]  Shasta Chambers: Well, Im sure you will find other people you will love to know. Good luck.
[5:16]  I'mCreepy Capelo: ok


The brilliant specimen that he is...he offers friendship again after I have already declined. 


[5:16]  Shasta Chambers: ...did you miss what I just said?

Tip Number 3: Do not randomly search a group listing and offer everyone on the list friendship. That's just sad. You should slice your wrists now. Vertically. Having groups in your profile such as "Beat me Rape Me," "Free Sexrooms," "Dark Heaven Sex Island," "Dirty Sex Yard Escort City Free Sex," "Dom Beasts for Submissive Females," and an otherwise blank profile DOES NOT attract friends. Well, no...I know a lot of skanky hoes. Maybe it would. Just not me. And frankly, the most disgusting one out of them was totally the "Dom Beasts for Submissive Females." We would never get along. Trust me. You are dismissed. 

So I'm finally past the creepdom for the day. I've gotten the ickies multiple times and I'm thinking...Okay Shassy, the sun is going down, the creeps must be asleep now. I head over to a club, which is on a Mature Sim. Would I hang out anywhere that I couldn't scream out "Cumdumpster Saggy Twat Cooter Lips," if I wanted to? Yeah, that's a big hell to the no. 


I'm all Zen and shit when this chick and her midget baby talking offspring decides to pay a visit. And there goes my happy juice. 



So, the "Mom" starts scoping out the place.


[19:19]  Anti Milf: it seems like a nice family enviroment
[19:20]  ResultOf CondomBreaking: but its not
[19:20]  ResultOf CondomBreaking: hehehe
[19:20]  AlreadyHasAPronoun AsAName: wb shasta
[19:20]  ResultOf CondomBreaking: they just let me come last night cause im special (No, it's because we all know thats not baby acne on your face but the Herpes your mother passed on from her "Party Days." We pity you.)


This is followed by some major gesturbating which makes me want to lynch myself. 


[19:25]  Anti Milf: no adult stuff right
[19:25]  AlreadyHasAPronoun AsAName: yes
[19:25]  ResultOf CondomBreaking: so cool!
[19:25]  AlreadyHasAPronoun AsAName: lots of it
[19:25]  SuperCool DJChick: oh no nothing like that but a lot of cursing
[19:25]  ResultOf CondomBreaking: i could rack up
[19:25]  SuperCool DJChick: oh wait yeah there is some adult items
[19:25]  Anti Milf: so there are adults that come in and do bad stuff? (Are you Mister Fucking Rogers?)
[19:26]  SuperCool DJChick: not bad just being silly in a umm perverse way
[19:26]  AlreadyHasAPronoun AsAName: no actual nakedness (Says the guy who rocks the mangina g-string/thong, cock hammock thingy that left me scarred for days...)
[19:26]  AlreadyHasAPronoun AsANamep: ar sexual things
[19:26]  Anti Milf: I hope not
[19:26]  ResultOf CondomBreakingt: mommy it wasnt
[19:26]  Anti Milf: thats good to knbow
[19:26]  SuperCool DJChick: definitely nc-17
[19:26]  AlreadyHasAPronoun AsAName: yes
[19:26]  Anti Milf: Ill have to blow the away if they mess with my baby girl (You mean blow the staff...have you left yet? I think one of your sores just popped.)
[19:26]  ResultOf CondomBreaking: omg
[19:26]  Anti Milf giggles
[19:27]  Anti Milf: I will too
[19:27]  ResultOf CondomBreaking: ive got a gun (Well...I've got a twat, you think you're better than me now? Fucker)
[19:27]  Anti Milf: U knoiw it

Tip Number 4: Do not come to a Mature Sim and scope it out like it's suppose to somehow accommodate the 32 year old woman who needs to play as a little girl on my time. There are special places for your weird kind of funkiness. Go there. Yes, SL is for everyones creative moments. But playing an annoying brat who assumes everyone will think that shit is cute is highly fucking annoying. No, I will not cover up for you. No, I will not watch my mouth. Fuck fuck fuck, take it in the ass, slap it, smack it, break it, bang bang bang, omfg harder, pussy, dick, yummy cock in the mouth. Ahhhh, now I feel better. 

And lastly...I should have expected this one.


[19:28]  AlreadyHasAPronoun AsAName: i swear
[19:28]  AlreadyHasAPronoun AsAName: i get dressed up as a kid one time
[19:28]  SuperCool DJChick: hahaha
[19:28]  AlreadyHasAPronoun AsAName: to go to disney world
[19:28]  AlreadyHasAPronoun AsAName: cuase i thought it would be fun
[19:29]  AlreadyHasAPronoun AsAName: and i never hear the end of it lol

Tip Number 5: Thats just weird. I can do bad, evil, naughty, even fucked up. Weird...I do not get. 

P.S. Rocking the pink ball can be hella sexy. Don't be scared to admit you're curious. It's as pointless as saying you wouldn't let Dave Navorro bend you over while you bite a pillow. Lies. 

Labels

Does it really matter how the world sees you? Is how you see yourself more relevant? If you are given a label, how much of a hand did you have in earning it? We learn something new about ourselves every single day.  

Main Entry: ²mean 

Pronunciation: \ˈmēn\

Function: adjective

Etymology: Middle English mene, from imene common, shared, from Old English gemǣne; akin to Old High Germangimeini common, Latin communis common, munus service, gift, Sanskrit mayate he exchanges

Date: 14th century

1 : lacking distinction or eminence : humble

2 : lacking in mental discrimination : dull

3 a : of poor shabby inferior quality or status  b : worthy of little regard : contemptible —often used in negative constructions as a term of praise 

4 : lacking dignity or honor : base

5 a : penurious, stingy b : characterized by petty selfishness or malice c : causing trouble or bother : vexatious d :excellent, effective  
6 : ashamed 1b

— mean·ness  \ˈmēn-nəs\ noun

synonyms mean, ignoble, abject, sordid mean being below the normal standards of human decency and dignity. mean suggests having such repellent characteristics as small-mindedness, ill temper, or cupidity <mean and petty satire>. ignoble suggests a loss or lack of some essential high quality of mind or spirit ignoble scramble after material possessions>. abject may imply degradation, debasement, or servility <abjectpoverty>. sordid is stronger than all of these in stressing physical or spiritual degradation and abjectness sordid story of murder and revenge>.

Just in case another word is needed at a later date: abhorrent, abominable, anathematic, defamatory, despicable, detestable, execrable, fastuous, flagitious, hateful, heinous, invidious, loathsome, nauseous, objectionable, obnoxious, odious, opprobrious, outrageous, repellant, repugnant, repulsive, vile...

FTN! Shasta Chambers...FTN!

Cutest Ever!

Ugh, ya fucking Jerkoffs

[21:44]  Jerkoff Jefferson: hi hottie;)
[21:44]  Shasta Chambers: um hi, lol
[21:45]  Jerkoff Jefferson: how u doing?:P
[21:46]  Shasta Chambers: great and busy
[21:46]  Jerkoff Jefferson: awwww
[21:46]  Jerkoff Jefferson: pitty;P
[21:48]  Shasta Chambers: i dont know how you found me but thats extremely random
[21:48]  Jerkoff Jefferson: i show u at woods and i lfet:D
[21:48]  Jerkoff Jefferson: left**
[21:48]  Jerkoff Jefferson: by the way you r soo hot rl ;P
[21:49]  Shasta Chambers: also married in rl so lets call that one quits
[21:49]  Shasta Chambers: you have a good night
[21:50]  Jerkoff Jefferson: :)


[14:47]  UGHYOU'REDUMB Vyper: I dig the white people rock... Money is a man of the world.
[14:48]  UGHYOU'REDUMB Vyper notices the other woman looking tense. "What's wrong with you, baby. You need Money here to help you relax?"

It's 2010 and yet that chauvinistic attitude is still overflowing. Random moments of stupidity. Why am I such a bitch...why am I such a bitch...why am I such a bitch...because it's really easy to get tired of the same uncreative, unoriginal, unwarranted, unappreciative, uneducated verbal vomits. It's everywhere and I'm not a fucking janitor sent to clean up your chunks. Perhaps all of that nonsense works on the next one, some lost specimen desperate to feel complete by a strangers words. OMFG, an RL compliment, I'll be on the first plane to see you, suavecito. Baby...did you just refer to me as baby? This is not Dirty Dancing, I am not your fucking puppy, this is not a street corner and I'm not your hoe. You know what would help me relax? If you stopped breathing. How bout you get right on that, Money! Money? Who the fuck calls themselves money? Pendejo.

FTN! YOUR EXISTENCE

(Names have been altered to protect the moronic assclowns that seem to open their mouths against advisement.)

This Is Not TV, This Is SL

Is it just me or are the boys losing points? Over the past couple of weeks, I've noticed something and today seems like the best time to share it. It's nothing new, it's nothing profound. It's probably been said before, a million and one times. But not by me.

When the fuck did the ugly stick start making such heavy rounds? Through some deep research, I am inclined to say that even the once widely attractive specimens known as men in SL have been taken over. They have fallen into the expected, the typical, the boring and unfortunate.

I look from couple to couple and wonder:

"Why is she with him?"

But I've had this moment before. It starts with Fred Flinstone. No, I'm not kidding. He was a moron, an ugly moron at that. The Trump comb-over started with Fred. And yet that fiery red head, Wilma, let him hit it. You see, Beauty and The Beast existed long before Disney got their hands on it. And sadly, it's continued. Marge and Homer Simpson...I'm not saying Marge is a fox but with a good relaxer, she could pass for a one night stand. Homer on the other hand...I've seen pubes grow fuller than his sad lack of upper growth. And the mental capacity...non-existent! Doug and Carrie from The King Of Queens...okay, he's funny. But seriously? He bagged her? Chloroform anyone? He's got a lifetime supply. Even my chocolate people have suffered from the sickness. The Huxtables. Are you telling me old Mr. J.E.L.L.O. pudding face nabbed Claire? Oh, hell to the no. Thats about as believable as Screech getting with Kelly. EXACTLY!

Now you know who had it right? Melrose Place. (Old school, not this 2009 Ashley Simpson shit. Posers) The uglies fucked the uglies (Billy and Allison) and the hotties fucked the hotties (Jake + Joe + Amanda + Kimberly + Sidney...you see where I'm going with this?) Roseanne and Uncle Jessie (Full House, Bitches) did not fuck, you wanna know why? Because no one would believe it possible for his dick to find her snatch. We can cure Measles and fight The Swine Flu but there is no finding that crotch. Lost cause people, I'm sorry for those that were hopeful. Really...I'm sorry for you. If it so unbelievable that a grotesque, funny but still fugly woman could not nab the hottie, why the hell is it so believable the "funny ogre" gets the gorgeous dame?

And then I look around. And I'm scared. Man boobs here, stupid "funny" comments there, bad clothes here, disgusting hair there. That shirt looks like it was painted on you assclown and where the fuck are the cuffs to your jeans? Really? They just blend into your ankle all fucking Looney Toons like?

"But Shasta, how superficial could you be?"

If you just had that thought, here's some advice: Shut The Fuck Up. First impressions are everything. And no, I cannot tell how kind hearted you are because I wouldn't get close to your too tall, too bulky physique. Yes, you feed the homeless and you wanna save the Sea Lions...but can I fuck the thought of you saving the sea lions? Can I get past the 3m nipples you so indiscreetly want to display in the middle of a fucking club to think about your donations to Save the Children? NO, NO I CANNOT!

Yes, personality is huge! Its gigantic. It's an extreme factor that has to be taken into consideration to get even remotely close. Funny? Fabulous. Intelligent? Outstanding! Opinionated? Delicious. Passionate? Bravo! Romantic? Fan-fucking-tastic! A true gentleman in public and a dirty kinky bad boy in bed? Holla at ya girl! Ugly as sin? Get the fuck outta here.

This is not some bad TV show. You want your girl to look fly, put some work into it. Now, don't get me wrong. There are some yummy motherfuckers out there. Whatever your flavor; dorkalicious, pretty boys, bad boys,  suavecitos, fluffy gents, etc etc etc, they exist. The problem is all of the "what's good for the goose," twatblockers who don't think they should clean it up and impress a bitch and they just so happen to be standing in the way of some tasty treats.

So, if you know a Homer, a Fred, any of those sorry examples of guys who "got lucky," send them the memo.  It's a new dawn and the ladies are waking up. We want all the gushy mushy naughty goodness in one fuckable package. Get started or get out of the way.

FTN! to the boys who want the fly girls but look like something a fly would land on.

Hahahahahaha

Dos Dedos

Only two?

Pussy!

F.T.N!

Beautiful Soul

I didn't know her personally. I only got to see how she touched people. The street she lived on.The pond in her front yard.The abundance of frog statues.The look on her sons face when he spoke of his mother. The strength she gave so many. The relentless will to live she displayed. The smile she shared.

Sometimes beautiful souls are captured, stolen. They are whisked away beyond our vision and we are lost without such purity. We lose sight of beauty sometimes. We lose ourselves in the everyday qualms of the world. But there are always reminders. That no label can steal a persons will to live. That no injustice can break a wondrous soul. That sometimes people can break the mold of a stigma. That there can be light in the darkest of places. She was a mother. She was a wife. She was a friend. She was a survivor. She was an inspiration. The world lost a woman but gained an angel. And somewhere, I'm sure she touches those closest to her heart.

Thank you, for the reminder that there are bigger things outside of ourselves. And the present is a gift.

R.I.P. Fel