- How the fuck can the gas station be out of the one fucking brand/type of smokes I want? YOU SELL CIGS! That's like not having gas, you assholes! "Well, we have regulars, that's almost the same thing." You are correct. They are almost 99's but not quite, hence why they come in a different package and are not called regulars. 99's have like 4 extra inhales. I happen to like those 4 extra inhales, thank you very much! I HATE YOUR FACE!!!!
- Who orders Netflix to hold on to the same movie for a month? Who does that? If you do that, you're fucking stupid. The whole point is to watch it and send it back! It's not a deal if you are paying the fee to fucking hold on to the movie. But look on the bright side, if you wait til the end of this month, YOU COULD OWN IT! Oh wait, no. Cuz you are renting it, you fucking moron! SEND IT BACK!!!
- People who light candles in their home. I know what you are doing. I see through this the minute I smell pineapple sage in the air. Where is Fluffy? Because I know you have a cat. Here's an equation for you. CAT = LITTERBOX I.E. CANDLES = YOU WERE TOO FUCKING LAZY TO CLEAN SAID LITTERBOX AND YOU THINK PINEAPPLE SAGE IS GOING TO FOOL ME! WRONG!
- People who ask for money and then lie about it. Didn't think I would find out did you? Oh, but I did. It's so fucking funny how when someone dies, the hands come out of the woodworks, what can I get...hmmm what can I get? How about some dignity. And a job!
- Hey asshole, dyke is not a noun or a verb or a fucking adjective. ITS JUST A SLUR! Don't suddenly act like you finished high school and try to educate me on the use of a word. The fact that you would use it and try to rationalize it makes you that much more of a piece of shit.
- "I'm only yelling at you because I have no one else to yell at." This is an actual quote. I don't even have to comment on it.
- Never ever ever ever AND I MEAN EVER comment on a womans weight in the middle of a non-existent conversation. Here's an example: *tv is playing some stupid shit no one with a brain cares about,* "so um...did you lose any more weight yet," where the hell did that come from <---thats me responding by the way, "didn't know if you lost it all yet." *back to paying attention to brainless television* NOPE! I never lost any of it, I just bought magical pants and a magical shirt to hide 36 pounds. Go to hell!
- People who say, "ohhh, you're so lucky." The guy from above is going to hell and if you hurry up, you can catch him for a partner.
- Breaking a nail at 2:07am. Because now I have to stare at it for the next 7 hours til my nail lady opens up her spot. I should leave a voice mail now saying I want the 9am appt.
- People who buy those lame kiddie pools when they don't have kids. Sitting your lawn chair in a kiddie pool in the front yard is not doing anything for your image. And there goes the beer and gut to top it all off. Fabulous. I just puked in my mouth.
- Feeling like a complete and utter moron for .5 seconds.
- Knowing that .5 seconds felt like a fucking lifetime.
- Watching a ship sink and not being able to do a damn thing about it.
- INFOMERCIALS! NO ONE CARES!
FTN and all that jazz
